I finally understand what all the fuss is about with Amsterdam. What a (expensive) place. 


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Perfect jumpsuit for wandering the streets of Amdam and travelling, from Zara – you can buy here on sale for 8 quid.

Tinny brought a long “Barry Plopper” for a holiday read on the plane and I’m pretty sure we were sat next to the real life Colonel Sanders (KFC white haired dude).


Our flight with KLM went off, we had a free lemon cake n cheeky beer – madness. Luxury life upgrade from recent Ryanair ventures. 

Literally an hour later we’d landed in gorgeous Dam and jumped on the bus straight to our hostel. Easy business. We stayed at the very cute Stayokay Amsterdam.

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After settling and picking our bunk beds lmao, we got straight out into the streets of Dam, or more like the canals of dam. They’re fuckin everywhere. It’s actually such a cool place, the streets are so artistic the people are totally peng and luckily for us so was the weather as well. 

When in dam it’s legal to love life…

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We smoked a bit too much hash and got lost doing laps n circles around the canals chatting loads of shit. White lights came for me at one point but amdam NOODLES sorted me reet out.

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We ended up on the famous Red Light district all giddy on the hunt to scout out some prozzies. Just out of curiosity of course. What’s weird is I thought they’d all be kind of minging but they were all bloody sexy. Amsterdam talent. 

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I yammed the best waffle of life (still high probs lol) and Tinny got some hench nutella bun and we wandered (the LONGEST way) back to the hostel. 

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We made it back to the hostel 27k steps later and we must have listened to tunes for like 3 hours, I was waiting for truffles to do their biz but I think the waffle stole their moment. It wasn’t till I fell asleep at like 2am ish that my eyes pinged open and the ceiling light turned into a jammy dodger, oops lol.



It’s festival time again!!! Another week another fest of fun. This time it’s Straf_Werk and I’ve been waiting for this one for too long. I couldn’t get over how amazing it looked on the 2017 after movie here, and I knew it’d be perfect for me n Tin.

I went for this chill sicka sicka t-shirt I found on depop and some basic black shorts. Straf_Werk seemed 10203x less chill than Tomorrowland festival attire vibes and it’s on a cosy beach on Amsterdam so comfort is KEY.

We started the day right with a Lidl venture for sandwiches and some rather strong fake desperados. I’m not sure whether it’s embarrassing or not but, I was a bit smashed after 2 you know.


We sat in the same spot on this beaut little spot of canal yammin the worlds best beef sandwich, drinkin and chatting even more shit. We got well jealous of this cushy dude living a cushy life on his little boat house porch. Started to consider trying to grab a placement in Amsterdam within Uni.

After downin our bevs our bladders burst and we went on a mad hunt for facilities around some bars. It was absolute struggle city trying to dodge paying for a drink to justify a wee in a bar.

After doing the deeds we got on a PACKED tram to Straf_Werk and ended up in a lil bit of heaven.


We couldn’t even believe we were still in Amsterdam, it felt like chuffin Miami on a beach just out the centre. It was an incredible space and the stages they’d created were insane. Once we got there and were stable we got a basic pic by the hollywood sign of Straf_Werk. 

One amazing thing that we notices all day was that there were no English pricks anywhere. You know it’s a good festival when the crowd is 99% Dutch. That also meant the crowds talent was insane; boobs, bum, tanned thin legs and gorgeous dudes everywhere. Like seriously everywhere.

Once exploring we first went to see Alan Fitzpatrick at the hideout stage. We caught the last of B Traits whilst waiting for Alan. But when he came on there was absolutely no prisoners, he went bloody in and kicked the day off reaaal nice.


We went to explore The Dome stage where the music was LOUD and fruity funky, Mele was on at the time but he kept cuttin the song so we got a bit stressed n left.


With old man Tinny’s back breakin we went behind the viewpoint stage with Maya Jane Coles playing, for a sit down and there was a genuine beach chiller area. Some dude actually stripped to his boxers and got in the sea which there was abso no need for.

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Tinny’s back restored, we headed to my favourite stage set up, The Big Three, for Kölsch. What a fuckin stage…

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After Kölsch and witnessing Grey live again in, at a different festival event, Henrik Schwarz went live. Tinny had been feeding my good shit about Henrik all day and he was too right. It blew our minds. It was definitely my second favourite moment of the day. 

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The end of the day was looming so we chose to see Maceo Plex as we’d both never seen him before. We jumped along to the Hideout stage and watched half n hour. Our bevs needed topping up so on route to the bar we got distracted by this sight…

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Solomun was going absolutely nuts on The Big Three stage for the final sets of the night and we forgot all about Plex. We were stood in total shock on the sidelines of the huge crowd watching the madness. We actually ended up hysterically laughing when the lights went bonkers cause it just looked so unbelievable. You couldn’t beat that atmosphere, it was an immense close to the festival. My favourite moment of the day. 

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We left before the rush, being smart, and got on a free bus back to the centre. 1 chicken burger and an Uber investigation later we finally found our taxi and got to the De Marktkantine.



So it was pretty fookin dead at the official after party when we got there but it picked up within an hour pretty quickly. I had chance to get to know my surroundings and in that time fully appreciated the set up of the main room in the De Marktkantine. 



42k thousand steps and crucified lungs later we crashed back at the hostel. We couldn’t even hold out until Joris Voorn came on as we started to die a bit from the slog of the day. We did well.


The check out time of the hostel was 10:30am and I was DYING. I have no idea how we pulled our shit together so good. I crashed outside Amsterdam Central for chuffing ages waiting for my flight with 2 brain cells and a broken heart that I don’t have all the cash in the world to explore more of the city. It’s fooking expensive people, fair warning. I will return with £££££££.

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