Just when I thought my adventures of 2018 were over to be a skint student, I ended up in chuffing Paris. 

Me and Jeanine (J9) got a wee coach from Manchester after midnight on thurs and ended up in Paris at fookin 10:30pm on Friday. Most would beleive that 21 hours would be torturous, but with J9 it was an absolute treat. And who is complaining for a 50 quid return to Paris!!

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J9, SUDOCREM AND PINEAPPLE 

We checked into our amazing wee Airbnb in Ivry-Sur-Seine which was ADORABLE. Whilst nosying around the place, I walked into another bedroom which I soon discovered was Airbnb host, Lynn’s. I saw a bit too much of Lynn drying her hair nude until she n I screamed n she launched herself on a towel. Was a very awkward and French Hello. From then on I forced J9 to converse with her.

 

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We got ready quick time and headed out to Cafe Oz Rooftop bar for a wee boogie and that.

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We found it fucking hilarious asking for Wet Pussy shots.

We met a very fooked guy called Anthony. He was obsessed with me and J9, so all night we told him we were married. French men are persistent to say the least, he was relentless in his attempts to break our marriage. 

 

 

SATURDAY

I woke up still pissed, to realise we’d slept through like 20 alarms. When I came around I also realised our duvet cover was missing. J9 had bloody chundered all over the bed half way through the night / morning and just thought it was all a dream. 

We pulled our shit together and got ready to go to The Louvre. But I quickly realised in the AM that my passport was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a flash back to getting off the coach when we arrived in Paris, and Jeanine asked me “Honor have you got everything, your passport your purse etc” (I tend to lose everything). I replied with “duh j9 cba checking though let’s go out out out”. Well it turns out my wee passport was just chilling on the coach still and I arrogantly walked away from it.

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We went via the coach station to report my idiot antics and then marched on still to The Louvre happy as Lary and basically an illegal tourist.

 

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We yammed a nice crepe and very hungover J9 attempted to and we got straight into the Louvre with not much queueing. Nothing is more beautiful than the Louvre, me and J9 were like loved up puppies in awe of the hundreds of statues and insane architecture in the Louvre.

 

It was especially amazing due to the wee J9 Shrine that we stumbled upon…

 

Honestly everything about this museum is amazing. We weren’t even prepared for the massive gold room that we spent far too long gawking in. I properly shed a few tears of jealousy that someone once enjoyed this space. You couldn’t design or imagine anything more extravagant in your mind. 

 

But then it was just getting a joke, every room got more and more beautiful and I became confused at our “modern day living rooms”. Where has the style gone??????

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I was a bit pissed off with the Mona Lisa to be honest. The barrier doesn’t even let you get anywhere near close to actually look at it properly. You can hardly even make out her  famous expression. And there are TOO many tourists just in the way.

After a roller coaster of emotions at the Louvre we went on a hunt for STEAK and some cocktail happy hours. We walked down Rue Saint Honoré on our hunt lol.

 

After an AMAZING steak n gin fizz, we got changed and got straight back out to go to a wee house party party to meet J9’s cousin and her friends. 

 

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We stumbled across the station that J9 got nicked at for using a fake travel pass un the underground lol.

 

We drank wine, boogied to weird RnB and J9 did a wee ukulele solo which went off.

 

SUNDAY

Hungover once again we went to J9’s cousins’ Fahima, and her mint aunt’s for lunch in Nanterre. We had a mint lasagne and I was told off about being a dickhead and losing my passport.

 

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How cute!!!!!!!

Have you even been to Paris if you haven’t seen the Eiffel Tower? 

 

Me, J9 and Fahima had a lush afternoon around the tower and me and J9 decided to attempt to give it a climb it cause why the hell not, I mean we’re so Paris.

 

I only made it to the first floor…

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FREE J9

It’s fucking scary.

Then me and J9 just went across to the Notre Dame which was so gorgeous inside. There was a service taking place so it was good to see it in full force with all the candles lit and a full crowd. Felt very Romeo + Juliet vibes.

 

 

We went for a wee cocktail outside the Notre Dame and saw it light up in it’s full glory. Paris at night is something else. 

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We then went on a walk to buy cheap booze to drink in our wee airbnb. 

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Our set up was something else. We had Anadin to soilder on and beat our headaches, Lynn’s cloth and a lighter for a hot press for my 1089430 mosquito bites and then a lotta wine. We watched Mac Millers Tiny Desk concert and listened to smooth jazz. It was the cutest night ever. Je suis creasing.

MONDAY

Hungover once again we woke up, this time very early, so that we could make the most of our last day and GET ME AN EMERGENCY PASSPORT! YAY.

We explored Ivry-sur-Seine and the really cool urban architecture in the centre. More on the 40 towered structures here.

 

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After going to apply for my emergency passport we went to the Concorde…

 

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Then we went to the Grand Palais and there was the most amazing fashion week buzz. There were the most exquisitely dressed folk, me and J9 were people watching like mad and we felt ugly as fuck. But we’re funny and have mint personalities.

 

We walked past Leonard Paris’s show on route to the Arc De Triomphe.

 

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I got rude at the Arc de Triomphe.

 

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Then we went to L’Atelier Des Lumieres to see the Gustav Klimt exhibition. On route I got a sexy pastry obvs. 

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There aren’t many words that I can come up with to describe this exhibition. It was so intense and moving and you could not capture it’s beauty. It’s completely about the experience and I’d recommend it highly to anyone visiting Paris. No photos / videos will ever do this justice.

Then it was time to collect my special passport to get me home. My special, expensive passport. I signed a form that I would NOT return to France lol and that was that.

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I was determined that I wasn’t leaving tbh.

We then went to the I love you wall at the bottom of the Sacré-Cœur steps. The wall has I love you in all the worlds languages written across it.

 

We climbed the 300 steps up to the Sacré-Cœur, my favourite spot in Paris, to soak up our last bit of tourism in Paris.

 

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At the top we met the best sales man in France, Hassan. He basically just wouldn’t leave after we said no to him about beer. So we bought beer.

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For our last night in Paris we spent it in Le Comptoir General. It’s the most insane boho-chic tropical garden, in like a greenhouse bar. The African souvenirs, props and array of plants give it a really exotic atmosphere and their Gin Fizz was 10/10. It was a perfect end to a perfect trip.

 

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TUESDAY

At 8am we got on our coach back to Manchester. We were depressed as hell on the way back but thankfully Heads Up released a Friends 5th year anniversary, so we were very very very occupied. Our knowledge on Friends is too impressive.

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Couldn’t have imagined a more amazing weekend with this tres mignon floating head, even when she threw up in our bed. I actually feel totally inspired coming away from Paris from the things we’d seen. I’m seriously considering a year in Paris for placement year. I will be back.

9 thoughts on “2 Donuts In Paris

      1. I went in 97 I think. Definitely a highlight of this life. Hope you’re going well and all your people are kicking ass.

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  1. Omg! Y’all did so much (: if I ever get the energy to go non-stop like you, I’d consider myself blessed. I hope they let you back into France so you can have another amazing trip like this one, stellar pics as always 💛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had a few crazy experiences in Paris, as well, though none involved a dram, a pint or a lost passport. Tuilleries, Louvre and the neighbourhood west of the Eiffel Tower were certainly my faves. The Roma people who scam along the Seine were most amusing.

    Liked by 2 people

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